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As moms, we are always on call. Literally. If my kids are awake, I can guarantee I’ll be hearing, “Mom!” at least twenty times throughout the course of a single day. Sometimes they call me to tattle on each other. Other times they need help finding something and believe I have a magical honing device that can conjure lost sweatshirts, face masks or homework out of thin air. Sometimes they’ve hurt themselves and need a kiss and a snuggle. Most often, though, it’s to ask for a snack. At this stage of their lives, my kids depend on me for a lot.
It’s beautiful. And it’s exhausting.
So, like most moms I know, one of the things I crave the most is alone time.
The question is, how do we get it?
I won’t claim I have a one-size-fits-all solution, but after a ton of trial and improvement, I do know what works for me.
→ Insert morning routine here. ←
That’s right. With an intentional morning routine comes guaranteed “me” time. Now, let me assure you right off the bat that I am not about to tell you to wake up at 5 AM. But if you’re not currently getting time to yourself every single day, I am going to tell you to wake up earlier than you are now.
OK, before you close this window of your browser, hear me out!
Waking up earlier doesn’t have to be painful. Promise.
You only need 20 minutes to yourself—before everyone else in your house gets up—to “fill your cup,” so to speak. What you do in that 20 minutes is entirely up to you. Maybe it means you get to sit somewhere cozy and enjoy that first, blissful cup of stress-free coffee without anyone interrupting you. It might mean you read that novel you’ve been meaning to dig into, or that you meditate, journal or exercise. I use that first 20 minutes to work on my biggest, hairiest, most audacious goal.
Whatever you do with that time, I strongly urge you to spend it on something you love. Something that’s just for you.
Now, if you’re shaking your head at me like, “Nikki, I snooze three times before I make it out of bed as it is. How am I supposed to wake up twenty minutes earlier?!”
I got you, girlfriend.
Here’s what I suggest: start with five minutes earlier. Just five. (You’ve got five in you, come on).
And then once you have that down, set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier. And when you’re rocking that, move it to 15. Eventually, you’ll get to 20 minutes like it ain’t no thing. And all the while, as you’re working your way up to 20, you’re getting an extra five, ten or fifteen minutes in your day of guaranteed “me” time.
Take a sec’ to imagine how glorious that would be. You’re a morning routine away from making it happen.
To really seal the deal, I also suggest going to bed at the same time every night (and no, that’s not code for, “Go to bed at 8 PM”).
My go-to bedtime is 10 PM. To help me stay on track, I use the “🛏 Sleep | Wake Up” tool in the Alarm section of the built-in Clock app on my iPhone. Going to bed at the same time every night solidifies my routine in the morning, and allows me to get seven and a half hours of sleep before I’m up at 5:30 AM to enjoy the peace, quiet and productivity that comes with the stillness of my household at that hour. I’ve worked my way up to a sixty-minute morning routine which, in addition to allowing me to work on my BHAGs, gives me time to mediate, journal and pray.
Try it this week. Decide what you would do with guaranteed alone time. Then set your alarm for five minutes earlier than it is now (or twenty if you’re feeling robust) and start going to sleep at the same time every night.
And let me know how it goes! I’ll be thinking of you as I’m sipping on my peppermint tea tomorrow morning.
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