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Today is my 40th birthday. They say life begins at forty. As I reflect today upon these last several years of my life, I thought it would be fun to imagine . . . what bits of wisdom would I impart to my 25-year-old self if we could sit down and enjoy a glass of Chardonnay together?
I think it would go something like this:
1) You’re gonna fall on your face. A lot. Don’t resist it. Don’t berate yourself for not getting it “right.” Your most brilliant moments will be born from those so-called failures. You’ll end up marrying the love of your life—after you marry the wrong guy first. You’ll ditch that career you toiled away in school for, and that everyone else thought made you so successful, but that you secretly hated. You’ll make friends who are true. You’ll discover you have a gift you can parlay into a career you absolutely love. You’ll find your purpose. You’ll find yourself.
2) Becoming a mom is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Like, ever. You’re gonna start worrying the minute you know you’re carrying that baby and you will never, ever stop. Not when you make it to 12 weeks. Not when the nuchal translucency screening comes back normal. Not when she’s born and she’s perfect and beautiful. Not even now, when she’s 8 years old and a totally legit human with opinions and goals. Oh, and nursing and sleep training are going to kick your ass. You are going to cry a lot. And then you’re gonna have another baby 17 months later and do it all over again. (I know, girlfriend. I know).
But you know what else? You’re going to discover how precious life is. You’re going to learn how to give grace to others and to yourself. You’re going to understand from a place deep within your soul that a mother’s love for her children is infinite.
Aaaaannnnd you’re gonna realize you’ve been kind of bratty to your own mom for a few decades, so be nicer to her, ok?
3) Try new things. Listen, girlfriend. You’ve got mad skills. Did you know you can pick up a sport as an adult and actually become good at it? Well, you can! And you will. (Tennis, anyone?) You’re also going to start working out like a beast when you discover—almost unwittingly—that CrossFit is not just for crazy people. It’s also for ordinary, mild-mannered, sleep-deprived moms who wanna lose some baby weight. And who woulda thunk it? You’re going to enjoy it so much that working out is going to become a habit.
You’re also going to become a scrapbooker. And a home cook. And a blogger. And a woman who can rock fake eyelashes. And all of it will feel a little scary and uncomfortable at first, but you’re gonna keep getting uncomfortable and trying new things.
In fact, you’re going to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone over and over again, because you’ll figure out that growth is impossible inside your comfort zone. The magic happens out “there,” in the unknown. Embrace it. It’s really fun out there.
4) You’ll discover what you love. As a byproduct of trying new things, you’ll learn what it’s like to truly enjoy life, and how to give yourself what you deserve. You’ll become unapologetic about choosing joy. You’ll learn how to be still, how to allow, how to receive. You’ll learn to love yourself and who you’re becoming.
5) You’re gonna be ok, girlfriend. Everything is going to happen exactly the way it’s supposed to, because the nonnegotiable truth is that you create what you experience. You are powerful beyond measure. Everything you need to create a life you absolutely love is already inside of you. Sometimes harnessing that power will take you down paths you didn’t expect (see note one above), but when you choose to become deliberate and intentional about getting what you want, you will indeed create it.
So keep swimming. Don’t stop believing. You’ve totally got this.
Oh, and don’t worry about turning forty. There’s lots more Chardonnay and a lot less drama on this side of the fence. It’s actually quite fabulous. And so are you.
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