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I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I am fiercely loyal and I love deeply. I make friends quickly and I trust easily.  Those traits allow me to have meaningful connections and incredible experiences.  

They also, inevitably, set me up for some heartache and disappointment along the way.  

I had one of those experiences recently. Without getting into the gory details, I’ll simply say it was the grownup equivalent of having your best classmate tell you she doesn’t want to play with you anymore. Over text message. Complete with that old, “It’s not you, it’s me” song and dance. 

[Cue major eye roll]. 

But silly as it sounds now, I was upset when it happened. OK, I’ll be totally honest:  I was crushed.  I had thought this person was my friend, and that we were going to create some amazing results on a joint endeavor we had been working on together.  I felt blindsided when she told me (via text) that our partnership wasn’t working for her and that she wanted to explore other options.  

It was like being dumped.  Used.  Discarded.

So I let myself feel all the feels.  I cried.  I engaged in negative self-talk (“Do I suck?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Am I not good enough?”). And after fully experiencing my emotions (except for the one where I wanted to go Office Space on a printer), I released it.  

And, as I always strive to do after any life experience, I reflected on what this particular rejection taught me.  Here’s what I took away, and what I’ll help my kids take away when something doesn’t work out for them: 

• Always listen to your intuition.

Or, put another way, trust your gut.  During our “friendship,” I got little glimpses of this person that made me wonder if she was truly as genuine as she seemed, but I quickly brushed off those thoughts as unwarranted negativity, or paranoia, or another case of me “being in my head.” 

In hindsight, of course, it all fits together.  Your intuition will never steer you wrong, girlfriend.  There’s an old saying:  when people tell you who they are, listen.  

In this case, listening to my intuition would have spared me the heartache.  But I don’t actually regret the way things went down.  (More on that in a sec’).  

I am grateful, however, that I can see where my intuition was trying to point me, if for no other reason than it’s comforting to know I can depend on that gift when it really matters.   

• Remember The Moana Principle.

I’ve explained The Moana Principle before, but in case you don’t remember, I’ll quickly fill you in.  

In the Disney movie, Moana, there’s a part when she’s navigating the ocean on a raft, lost and alone, searching for Maui, a demi-god no one has seen in like, hundreds of years.  She has absolutely no idea how she’s going to find him, and in a moment of desperate faith, she calls on the ocean for help.  

The ocean, being the ocean, promptly throws her into a tumultuous storm while she hangs on for her life in terror.  The next morning, she finds herself shipwrecked on an island, frazzled and disoriented and seemingly no closer to finding Maui. Furious, she curses the ocean for toying with her, but in the next moment, who does she discover just happens to be stranded on that island too? 

Maui.  

The ocean delivered her right to him.  

You see the metaphor, right? 

Sometimes the fastest way to get from where you are to where you need to be is through a total sh*tstorm. 

This phenomenon is what I call The Moana Principle. 

And I’m starting to believe this recent experience will soon reveal itself to be one of those blessings in disguise.  I can already see how things are aligning and coming together for my benefit now that this partnership has ended, and I have complete trust and faith that I’m going to reach my goals even faster because it ended.  

It didn’t feel good when it was happening, but it’s clear to me now that it needed to happen.  

So next time life throws you a storm, try to see it for what it is:  a shortcut to bigger and better.  Don’t resist it; don’t curse it. Don’t shut your eyes and wish it wasn’t happening. Obviously, you need to experience it.  After all, it’s taking you exactly where you want to go.  

• Regret is a choice. 

Remember earlier, when I said I don’t regret the way this whole scenario went down? Here’s what I mean by that:  had I avoided the heartache, I also would have missed out on the fun.  

I had some great times with this person while it lasted, and learned strategies and skills I probably would not have otherwise learned if she and I hadn’t been pushing toward a goal together.  I don’t regret that for one second.  

Realize that regret is a choice, girlfriend.  And when we choose regret instead of choosing to see the value that exists in every experience, we allow ourselves to be robbed.  

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to feel robbed.  More importantly, I’m teaching my kids about that choice.  I’m showing them exactly what it looks like—ugly tears and all—to move on after feeling sad and rejected, and how to turn tough experiences into powerful life lessons.  

We are forged in the fire, my friend. Sometimes, it’s just not supposed to work out.   But disappointment and heartache only make us stronger, and you know what?  They make us better mamas too. 

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Have you ever opened a closet or a cupboard and thought, “When the heck did we accumulate all this stuff?” 

Duh, that’s a rhetorical question because you’re a mom, and therefore, of course you have.  

At this time last year, my husband and I were seriously considering an opportunity in his career that would have required us to move out of state.  One day during the lengthy interview process, I opened a cabinet under my bathroom sink, saw all the clutter and thought, “Am I really going to pack all of this and move it?  And if not, then why am I keeping it—even if we don’t move?” 

That one question helped me declutter every drawer, cabinet and closet in my house. 

And I didn’t do it overnight, or even in one week.  But once I started, it became my priority every time I had a spare moment.  I would ask myself that question as I went through all of our stuff—toiletries, Tupperware, toys, clothes, linens, everything. 

And let me tell you:  it was so cathartic. Not only did I purge a bunch of stuff I was no longer using and create a much more organized home, I was able to donate most of the items to charity, which felt really good.  

In the end, we didn’t end up moving.  But it was still a worthwhile exercise because it allowed me to declutter my home and, in turn, my life! 

So if you have a little or—ahem—a lot of clutter in your house, pick one drawer, one cabinet or one closet and try this hack.  Whether you’re moving or not, it’s quite effective. 

Now I know you might be thinking, “But Nikki!  What if I do end up needing this stuff? That’s why I’m keeping it!  Because I might one day need it again!” 

Listen, I hear ya.  I often have had that hoarder-like mentally too.

But the truth is, if you haven’t used it in over a year, you’re probably not gonna. 

And if parting with it still feels too final, just grab one of those big plastic storage bins with a lid from Target and put the stuff that doesn’t meet the “would I pack this and move it” test in there. Then find a place for the bin in your garage. If after another six months to a year, you still haven’t touched it, it’s time to say goodbye. 

So there you have it!  My hack for decluttering your home and your life.  Try it out and let me know how it goes! 

Here’s to making room in our lives for what matters most.  

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My foray in direct sales was born from a lack of fulfillment, boredom, and a smidge of desperation. 

Wait.  That sounds dramatic.  Let me back up. 

See, before I became a mom, I was a lawyer practicing commercial litigation for a prestigious, international law firm.  (I know—sounds very complicated and grown up, but it’s just a fancy way of saying I got paid to go to court on behalf of big companies and fight about money all day long). 

Suffice it to say, I didn’t love my job, despite that I was compensated well, had a strong sense of independence and, admittedly, felt kind of important when I went to court and judges listened to me when I talked.  At the end of the day, it was a grind and a half.  

So when I became pregnant with my daughter, I hatched a diabolical plan with my husband whereby I would pay down as much of my law school debt as possible before giving birth, and once our daughter was born, I’d quit to be a stay-at-home mom. 

Our plan went swimmingly. We paid down my student loans, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, took my full twelve weeks’ maternity leave and, when I returned to the office, promptly gave my notice.  I bid farewell to Big Law like, “Peace out, homies!” and stepped into my new role as CEO of Casa Oden without looking back.  

But fast forward two years and I had gone from a high-powered lawyer in pencil skirts and heels to an exhausted mom of two under 2 who was fairly consistently covered in bodily fluids that were not her own.  After a lot of denial, I finally admitted out loud one day that I wasn’t happy.  

The truth was I had completely lost myself in motherhood. I had nothing that was mine outside of being “Mommy” and “wife.” I knew to find myself again, I needed something just for me.  

The thought of going back to Big Law gave me hives, though, so I decided to start a direct sales business from home instead. I began my career with an organic food company and then moved on to one of the largest cosmetic and skin care companies in the world. At both places I saw tremendous success, earning all-expenses-paid vacations for me and my husband at the first company and a free car at the second.  

Now, let me stop right here and acknowledge the elephant in the room. 

I know direct sales gets a bad rap in the media. And as someone who’s actually walked the walk as a direct seller, I can sort of understand where some of that negative press comes from. But I also know being in direct sales can add immense value to your life.  

Here’s what I learned: 

 1) Always ask for what you want. 

When your job is to sell products, book parties and recruit new team members, you have to do a lot of asking.  Like, a lot a lot.  Over the years I realized asking for what you want is a skill that applies to all areas of your life. 

“Do you have any more sizes in the back?” 

“Can I get that without cilantro and add tomatoes and cucumbers?”

“Will you please donate to my kids’ school fundraiser?” 

“Will you pay me $100 per published article instead of $75?”

What’s the worst that can happen? They say no?  OK, fine.  Let’s indulge this terrifying what-if scenario.  They say no.  And .  . . are you any worse off than if you hadn’t asked? 

Nope.  

But what if they say yes?

To paraphrase the Bible, you have not because you ask not.  Ask for what you want, girlfriend. 

2) Be nice to strangers for no reason at all. 

When I was a sales director for the cosmetics and skincare company, one of the ways I was told to find new hostesses and team members was to genuinely compliment random strangers wherever I went and then invite them to the latest event I had on the books.  We called it “warm chatting,” and although it made me cringe, it also led to me meeting some amazing women with whom I’m still friends to this day.  

After I stepped down from my leadership role with that company to start Your Ideal Mom Life, I found myself continuing to warm chat, without the pitch.  

“Your eyelashes are amazing.” 

“You have gorgeous skin.” 

“I love your nail color.”

And you know what?  I discovered that it feels good to hand out compliments.  Try it.  At worst, some rando you’ll never see again thinks you’re nuts. At best, you make another woman’s day. 

3) Put yourself out there. 

Direct sales ain’t nothin’ if not a repeated series of putting yourself out there.  Is it possible people will make fun of you?  Yep.  Might they reject your offer?  You betcha.  Is it scary?  Uh, yeah.

But the more you put yourself out there, the closer you get to your goal.  And more importantly—the more you grow. 

Listen, girlfriend. You think Oprah became Oprah by playing it small?  Do you think Amazon would exist if Jeff Bezos hadn’t put it all on the line and fought to make a dream born in his garage a reality—despite all his critics?  Would you and I even be friends if I hadn’t decided to put my soul on the internet and start this blog? 

Remember that your kids are watching you. When they see you do hard things, they learn that they can do hard things, too. They grow from watching you stretch yourself and play full out.  They emulate how you deal with adversity and disappointment, and make the connection when they see you go after your goals and achieve big things. 

And they notice when you don’t.  They see all the times you choose to settle instead.

So get out there, mama. 

Try out for the ladies doubles league at the tennis center. 

Apply for the Executive Board of the PTA. 

Ask for the promotion.  

Start your own company.  

Run for office.  

Be the girl who puts herself out there and just goes for it.  

4) Be very intentional with your time.

You and I both know being a mom involves a beastly time management struggle.  Keeping the small humans in your house fed, bathed, educated, active and entertained on a daily basis is no joke. And of course, that’s on top of brushing your own teeth and hair, eating, sleeping, exercising and nurturing your relationship with your spouse. Add a home-based business to the mix and things can get ugly, fast.  

Being your own boss requires a set of habits most of us simply didn’t pick up in our early years, like being intentional with the 24 hours we have each day.  Having a direct sales business brutally exposed my deficiencies in this area, and led to me living in survival mode for several years.

But eventually, through lots of trial and improvement, I figured it out.  

Today, I’m like a time management ninja. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that doing a mental dump, prioritizing and time blocking are vital not only to running a business, but to creating a mom life you love. 

No doubt, there is a very real relationship between feeling confident and powerful in your mom life and deliberately planning out your week in advance.  

In fact, I’ve created an entire business around teaching working moms how to own their day, crush their goals and lose the mom guilt. (And it’s life changing, if I do say so myself).

Remember: you are the center of your household. When you become intentional with your time, you stop feeling overwhelmed and spread thin and start experiencing more patience and joy, and that will spill over into everything you do. 

Everything.  I’m telling you, friend, this stuff is legit.  

5) Don’t make up stories in your head about why other people do the things they do.

During my direct sales career, I reached out to a lot of people, met a ton more, and planted a lot of seeds. And let me tell you: not all of those seeds sprouted.  That means I sent like, a gazillion texts and emails that went unanswered and made plenty of phone calls that were never returned. 

At first, the temptation to invent a story in my head about why I didn’t hear back was almost irresistible. 

They don’t like me. 

Maybe she thinks I’m pushy and annoying. 

She wants to say no but doesn’t know how to tell me. 

And while sure, some of those hunches were undoubtedly true, the reality was that it usually wasn’t any of those things.  In fact, most of the time it had absolutely nothing to do with me or my business.  

Eventually, I realized I needed to give people grace and stop making everything about me.  Most people are completely absorbed in their own stuff.  They’re not plotting all the ways they can be intentionally rude or unresponsive.

So when people don’t respond to your text messages or call you back; if they ignore your emails; when they unfriend or unfollow you—don’t think for one second that you actually know why.  

In most cases, it ain’t got nothin’ to do with you. Maybe you reached out at the precise moment her kid barfed in the car, and therefore responding to you is (obviously) not a priority.  Perhaps her baby got a hold of her phone and unfriended all of her friends on social media.  Maybe her email got hacked and she deleted her account.  

Give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t make it about you. 

So. Freeing. 

I know direct sales isn’t for everyone, and that’s a beautiful thing. You’re shining in your unique gifts and talents, and the world needs that. In the end, direct sales wasn’t my forever career, but I’m glad I had the experience.  Aren’t you?  It led me to creating Your Ideal Mom Life—a calling I would never have otherwise discovered.   

Wherever you are on your journey, keep shining, girlfriend.  Don’t underestimate where your path is leading you.  And don’t forget to share all the beautiful nuggets you pick up along the way. 

I promise to keep doing the same for you.  

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Change is like the great equalizer.  Whether we like it or not, all of us are going to experience change in our lives. 

I believe no one understands this concept better than a mama.  Remember life (and your body) before your first baby?  Yeah, things have definitely changed since then.  

And like everything in life, change involves duality.  Sometimes change is good—like having a baby, scaling your business to the next level, earning a promotion or discovering a new ice cream flavor.  And sometimes change can feel . . . not as good.  Especially when we don’t necessarily choose it.  Losing a loved one.  Moving to a foreign place. Breaking up with a significant other or losing a job.  

But often, change that feels not so good is actually greatness hiding inside some icky discomfort. 

Like an edamame bean.  You have to bite through a weird, hairy shell that’s way too hard to swallow to get to the good stuff.  

So what are we supposed to do with that when it pops up in our lives?  How do we embrace the icky discomfort so we can get to the good—especially when our kids are watching us?  

I’m facing this challenge myself right now, and it dawned on me during an early morning meditation that I should probably start with doing as I say. 

That probably doesn’t make any sense.  Lemme back up.

I do affirmations with my kids.  It occurred to me one day when they were really little that some day, in the distant future, mean kids might tell my adorable, sweet, innocent little babies that they’re dumb.  Or weird.  Or bad at sports. You know—the stuff You-Can’t Monsters are made of.  And in that moment of realization, I actually felt offended and mad. I was all, “Aw, heck no!” (Please tell me I’m not the only woman who goes mama bear over situations that haven’t actually happened yet). 

Anyhoo, the whole experience got me thinking .  . . how can I prepare them for the inevitable trials of youth and adolescence—for the mean girls and the merciless boy hazing?  How do I prepare them for the stuff beyond all that, like the scariness of choices and trying something new and putting yourself out there?  

I’m not sure any mom can fully prepare her kids for rejection and failure and, you know .  . . high school.  But a girl can try.  

I settled on affirmations.  

And so, since they were little I have told them every day,“You are smart, kind, important.  You can do hard things.  You don’t give up easily.”  As they got bigger we added a few to the list, like “I try new things.” 

Admittedly, I threw that one in there so I could waggle a finger at them when we were introducing new foods and they wrinkled their noses.  I could be like, “Remember!  We try new things!”  

But when you’re experiencing a change, those words take on new meaning.  That’s what I meant when I said, I should do as I say.

At the end of the day, the discomfort that surrounds a change that’s been forced upon us is always rooted in fear. 

We’re afraid that the new won’t be as good as the old.  We’re afraid we won’t be able to handle it.  We’re afraid we might suffer, be embarrassed or feel pain.  

But you know what, girlfriend?  There was once a time when you had never before tasted ice cream or coffee.  You might even have been afraid to taste them at first.  But then, you tried those new things anyway.  And look at your life now!  Can you imagine your life without coffee?  (Side note:  I gave up caffeine a few years ago, so I actually can imagine my life without coffee, but substitute whatever your vice is here.  Wine. Laser hair removal. Botox. Whatever). 

A bit tongue and cheek?  Maybe.  But I think, at the core of it, the analysis is the same with any change.    

Everything we want is on the other side of fear. 

What if you try that new food and it’s delish?  What if losing that old job helps you discover a passion you can parlay into a new career that lights you up?  What if you move to that new city and you love it?  

Be open to those “what ifs.”  Remember that God (and the universe) are always working everything together for your good. Don’t hold yourself back from experiencing that good, even when it’s forced on you and has taken the form of a hard, hairy bean you’ve never seen before. 

You know, to this day, my kids and I always end our affirmations with, “You’re brave. You’re powerful.” 

And you are, girlfriend.  You are. 

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I once asked hundreds of moms what their greatest daily challenge is.  The response, hands down, was not having enough time.  That didn’t surprise me in the least, and if you’re a mom, you’re probably nodding your head like, “Girrrl, ain’t nobody more crunched for time than a mama.” 

Yet so often, we engage in colossal wastes of time and don’t even realize we’re doing it.   There are the obvious time suckers, like doing yourself what others can do for you, or spinning in frenzied circles every morning when some simple planning and organization tricks could have you sailing smoothly (and quickly) out the door.

But there are also really sneaky thieves of our time.  You can’t see them, can’t even pinpoint them, but they rob us of precious moments and keep us from fully enjoying life.  

One such thief takes the form of doors that close in our faces. You know what I mean, right?  Have you ever been dumped or fired and refused to let go?  Or been unwilling to forgive yourself for something that you wish you had handled differently?  Even now, might you be holding on to how things were before the pandemic, or how they “would have been” if none of this had happened?

This may be a harsh truth, friend, but pining away for what could have been is the ultimate waste of time.

I’mma say something obvious, because sometimes you (and I) need reminders: there is nothing you can do to change something that has already happened. Nothing. (Unless, of course, you have a time machine). 

Listen, I’m not saying you should dance around in glee when things don’t work out.  It’s absolutely ok to be disappointed and hurt.  And more importantly, it’s absolutely ok to express that you’re disappointed or hurt.   

What I am saying is that, as with everything in life, you have a choice.  You get to decide how long you want to stay in a space of anger, sadness or hurt.  Experience it fully you must, but once you do, realize that choosing to hold on to it or wishing it had gone down differently is not only a giant waste of time, but it’s robbing you of the joy that has popped up in its place.  And yes, joy has popped up in its place.  You only have to turn your head and see it.

It’s like that famous quote from Alexander Graham Bell:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.“

My first marriage ended less than a year after it started.  After five years of living together, we lasted eight measly months as husband and wife.  For my part, it was humiliating and heartbreaking.  I would stare at my wedding photos and feel like an idiot. I would go to friends’ engagement parties convinced that everyone secretly pitied me for being such a loser.  When I had to change back to my maiden name, I literally thought I was going to die when everyone in my office received a new phone list with my name appearing in a different place alphabetically.

I felt unlovable.  I felt like a complete and total failure.  And you better believe I wasted hours upon hours wishing I had done things differently—wishing I could have avoided the hurt and the ugly I experienced in the months leading up to and after our divorce.

It took me years to appreciate that door slamming in my face. Now I can see it for what it was: a blessing. My only regret is that I wasted any time at all wishing that it had never happened. Had it not, I would never have been able to walk through the door that opened for me almost immediately, which led me to the father of my children and the absolute love of my life.

I wonder, friend . . . do you find yourself still staring at the door that COVID-19 (or a former boss or an ex-husband) slammed in your face, instead of at the door that’s been opened for you, through which you might find joy, peace or healing?

I gotta say, ever since this whole COVID-19 thing happened, I’ve found myself with oodles of extra time.  And I’m not gonna lie. It’s been awesome. Without anywhere to schlep my kids or myself because of offices, camps, organized group activities and even church being closed, it’s been—dare I say it?—sort of peaceful around here. (I mean, except for the periodic shrieking and intense, high-pitched squabbling over who destroyed what in whose world in Minecraft, of course).  Slowing down, while certainly not without its challenges, has been a huge blessing.

Which begs the question:

If there are unexpected blessings when doors are slammed in our faces, could we find similar fortune by closing some doors ourselves?

I’m voting yes.

My encouragement to you today is to be grateful for the doors in your life that slam shut.  Appreciate that God has made clear to you that the closed door isn’t the one you’re supposed to walk through.  And the open door? It might just be behind you, where you’re not looking.  Don’t stare at the closed one for so long that you forget to turn around and see it. 

Oh, and while you’re at it, go ahead and shut those doors you should have closed a long time ago but left open. You’re making the air conditioner work twice as hard, girlfriend.

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I believe in the greatness of humankind.  I believe anyone can do anything.  I believe good will always defeat evil.  And I believe God loves us all.  

But I won’t lie.  George Floyd’s murder has shaken my faith.  It has burst my bubble.  Pulverized it.  Blown it to shreds.   How could a man be so callously and cruelly murdered by a police officer in broad daylight simply because of the color of his skin?  How could that be real?  

I’m ashamed that it’s taken me this long to say anything.  I’ll admit that at first I thought I would just stay silent.  I told myself I wasn’t going to publicly engage in a political issue.  

But then, my highest and best self took a long, hard look at me and shook her head, shook me.  You have a voice, she said.  You have a platform.  Get real.  This isn’t a political issue.  

It’s a human one.  

And I believe in the greatness of humankind.  I believe anyone can do anything.  I believe good will always defeat evil.  And I believe God loves us all.  

We are all made in the image of God—all of us.  Every. Single. One. 

So I’m breaking my silence.  But the truth is, I don’t know what to say.  If I’m being raw and honest, I’ve never lived through real oppression.  I don’t know what it’s like to fear that my son might be mistreated or harmed by the police.  I didn’t want to know that such hatred could still exist in a world in which I’m raising my children.  

Because I believe in the greatness of humankind.  I believe anyone can do anything.  I believe good will always defeat evil.  And I believe God loves us all. 

When I was a senior in college, I was invited to take an elite writing course.  The topic was “Race as a Construct in America.”  A construct.  Meaning, race is constructed, contrived.  It’s made up.  There is no such thing as “race,” other than the human race.  And how can anyone deny that we are all human?  

It made perfect sense to me.  I suppose I’ve been naive all these years, believing it also made sense to everyone else.  When I started seeing signs reminding people that Black Lives Matter, I would say to myself, Of course they do.  All lives matter.  People matter.  

I didn’t want to believe that racism still permeates this great country—our country, mine and yours. I certainly didn’t want to believe that racism was systemic.  But now I know a different truth, and it’s shaken me to my core. 

This hatred has to stop.  God wants better for us.  I want better for us.  

I believe in the greatness of humankind.  I believe anyone can do anything.  I believe good will always defeat evil.  And I believe God loves us all.  So I’m not going to be quiet anymore.  I’m not going to stand silently by and watch hate win over love.  

Today, and every day, I will choose love.  I will read.  I will watch.  I will donate.  I will listen.  And I will speak.  

I will teach my children to stand up against hate.  I will teach them to choose love.  I don’t know that anything I do will ever be sufficient.  But I will do it.  

Because I believe in the greatness of humankind.  I believe anyone can do anything.  I believe good will always defeat evil.  And I believe God loves us all. 

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If you’re looking for some direction on what you can do to make a difference, check out this heartfelt piece written by my dear friend Cameron at This Custom Life. It’s full of great advice and tangible resources for every day moms like me and you who are struggling with what happened to George Floyd: Nine Ways to Teach Your White Kids about Racial Injustice.

Being grateful is one of the keys to getting through this pandemic. Not only is it good for us spiritually, but it’s good for us physically. (There is brain science behind this.  Look it up!) As I’ve been settling into my new normal, I’ve become aware of all the the things I’m grateful for right now. I made a list, and am sharing it with you to encourage you to do the same. Here’s what I came up with!

*Obviously, this list doesn’t include things I’m always grateful for, like my family, my health and wine.

The South Florida sun.  Previously the bane of my existence due to its frizz-inducing humidity and unrelenting power to make unsightly brown spots appear on even the most tended-to skin, I now love the weather of my native state.  It’s warm. Like, deliciously warm. Which means my kids and I can go outside whenever we want in shorts and tank tops and soak up some vitamin D. In another time, I might have downplayed how awesome this weather is so as not to upset my friends in Montana and Wisconsin, but I gotta be real.  Being able to chill in a hammock in my backyard whenever I want to is pretty flippin’ great.  

Cleaning products that contain chemicals.  I used to be sort of green with this. I have a lot of amazing microfiber cloths that clean hard and soft surfaces alike with just water.  Beneath my sink you used to be able to find household cleaners that boasted safe, environmentally-friendly solutions. But now? Give me bleach.  Give me harsh chemicals. In fact, give me any cleaning agent that is deadly and toxic. If it works to clean up crime scenes, I want it. I’ll never doubt you again. 

Appliances. For those of us in South Florida, preparing for a COVID-19 quarantine felt sort of like preparing for a hurricane.  In some ways, of course, it’s way worse, with its lack of an end in sight and potential to permanently change the world as we know it.  But in at least one huge way, quarantine is way better than a hurricane, because, well, we have electricity. Can you imagine what life would be like right now if you didn’t have a refrigerator?  I’ve lived through that, if only for a few days, and trust me, girlfriend, it ain’t pretty.  

My backyard.  Man, did I used to disregard this lush, beautiful, ginormous backyard as boring, buggy and intolerably warm.  Today, I can’t get enough of it. I am so grateful that my kids have a safe place in which to run around, swing, slide, throw a frisbee, kick a ball and shoot each other relentlessly with water guns.  I am so grateful that my husband and I have a place to kick back after work to get fresh air, green grass and blue sky with a glass of wine. I love this backyard. I can’t believe I ever wasted a single minute not loving it.  

The clutter zones in my house. The mess at every turn gives me something to do in my “down” time.  (I dunno, is that just me?) When this is over, there won’t be a junk drawer or linen closet in this house that’s been spared.  

Time to cook. I didn’t learn how to cook until I was 28 and divorced.  “It’s an important life skill,” I decided, as I enrolled for a four-week long cooking class at my local Publix Aprons store.  During that month, I absolutely fell in love. I learned how to deglaze a pan, how to create emulsions and developed serious knife skills. 

I also learned that legit cooking takes time. As I got busier with wifey-ness and motherhood, I began to write off cooking as a luxury, for people who have a ton of time or who actually get paid to do it. But these days, I’m rolling in it.  I love that I have the time to dice and sauté and that I actually understand what a Maillard reaction is. Bring it, quarantine. I ain’t got nothin’ but time and hunks of meat, baby. 

My stockpile of frozen vegetables, fish and potatoes. Although my husband has always been down with me buying frozen salmon and French fries, I think he used to secretly think it was silly that I insisted on buying organic frozen vegetables.  In his defense, I hardly ever used them. But I always made sure our freezer was full of them, much to his chagrin. Well! Who’s silly now!  

Having breakfast, lunch and dinner with my husband and kids.  At best when the world is spinning normally, I have dinner twice a week with all three of these humans at the same time.  Except for Sundays, I never ever get to share all three meals with my beautiful family. I am loving that we enjoy every meal together now.  Am I running my dishwasher every single day as a result? Yep. But I’ll take it.  

Being outside.  People who know me well know that, except for anything at all related to tennis, I’m more of an “indoor” girl.  I don’t like to sweat unintentionally. I think camping is like, so Blair Witch.  And I don’t do dirt and bugs.  Typically, I prefer to enjoy life from air-conditioned spaces with outlets and proper seating. I appreciate man-made flooring.  But right now, wouldn’t you know it? I crave being outside. I go for a walk with my kids every morning just to see, hear and feel the nature on our street in suburbia.  I take deep breaths of fresh air and give thanks to God for the expansion in my lungs. I don’t think I’ll ever again be judgy about the outdoors after this. Heck, maybe I’ll even go camping!  (But probably not).

UPS, FedEx and USPS.  I seriously don’t know what I’d do without these folks.  Yeah, they bring me all the crap I’ve been recklessly ordering online, but you know what else?  They make me feel connected to the outside world, at no small risk to themselves. I am beyond grateful for them.  They are truly essential.  

Disney+, HGTV and Netflix.  There is just something so comforting about The Avengers, a solid, dirty reno and reruns of The Office.  Am I right? 

The thigh-high pile of books I’ve been meaning to read. No joke, that pile looms quite high above the ground.  But wahoo! I have time to read those books now! And I’m gonna.  For reals. I’m gonna. #leadersarereaders #writersread

My bicycle.  Goodness gracious, I love that thing right now.  I get fresh air, exercise and family time all rolled into one activity.  Why have I been letting that thing collect dust in my garage for so long?

FaceTime.  Do you remember back in the day at EPCOT when there was a ride called “Horizons,” about what life would be like in the future?  For some reason the scene where people could talk to each other and see each other over video always stuck in my brain as something super cool. When FaceTime became a real thing I was all, “It’s like EPCOT!  Remember?! They said!”

I am so grateful today that this technology is commonplace, that it ain’t no thang to connect with our families and friends in real time and real life over video conference.  FaceTime play dates have literally transformed my kids from sullen and bored to vibrant and excited again.

Today, even though we are socially “distant,” in some ways, I feel closer than ever to my family and friends. We actually talk now instead of just texting. We make time to see each other, whereas we might have let months go by without if everything was “normal.” It reminds me in a beautiful way that we’re all in this together. We are all connected. And that’s one thing from this quarantine that I hope never goes away.

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Now, more than ever, we should be grateful. Focus on what is good in your life. Have an attitude of gratitude, girlfriend. And while you’re at it, drop a comment below to share what you’re thankful for today.