Creating a Sense of Normalcy When Everything Feels Bonkers

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Is it just me, or does it feel like the world as we know it changes every single day because of this COVID-19 chaos?  Within the span of 24 hours, activities that just yesterday had been deemed ok might be banned, or businesses that were allowed to remain open may be forced to close.  And while I totally get the precautions, it sort of feels like there’s some all-powerful lifeguard with a big hat and zinc-covered nose who keeps wading into the ocean where the rest of us are trying to enjoy a little sun on our floaties to blow his whistle and scream on the bullhorn, “Nope!  No, that’s too far! Bring it back to shore!” 

In the meantime, moms everywhere are trying to figure out how to harmonize working from makeshift desks on kitchen or dining room tables with educating their kids, feeding their families creative renditions of tuna fish and keeping their houses from turning into total pigsties.  And we’re all doing a lot more dishes and laundry than anyone has ever wanted to do in the history of the world, ever.   

(It’s not just me, right?  Right?)

As a wife, a mom of two kiddos who are 17 months apart and will just as easily hug and snuggle together as they will plot ways to kill each other, the owner of an online media company and a part-time lawyer, I am in desperate need for some normalcy.  In the midst of all this craziness, it’s very tempting to give up. I mean, really, would it be so bad to walk around the house all day in jammies with a perpetually full glass of Chardonnay and just tell everyone else to “figure it out?” (OK, fine. Yes.  It probably would be bad).   

Believe me, girlfriend, I have had to dig in to find a way to keep my world on its axis, but I’d venture to say that what’s working for me will work for you, too.  

Here are five tried and true tips for creating a sense of normalcy in a world of chaos: 

1) Make your bed. I know you’re not even leaving the house and you’re just going to get right back into it in a few hours, but there is brain science that connects making your bed to having a great day.  (Don’t ask me for supporting sources! Just believe it!) And it literally takes 45 seconds. Even if it’s not something you would “normally” do, try it! If nothing else, seeing your pillows and blankets all perfectly coiffed will put a smile on your face. 

2) Create a routine. Humans crave routines.  Knowing what to expect creates a sense of order and purpose, even when it feels like the rest of the world has lost their sh*t.  To be productive and effective, you cannot be in weekend mode every single day. Set an alarm. Go to bed on time. Eat proper meals. Keep using your Weekly Designer (or whatever planner you’ve been using) and plan out your week.  Even if you don’t have all that much to do, plan for and calendar all those things you always said you would do “when” you have time. Surely there’s a junk drawer or linen closet that could use your attention?  You might (read: definitely will) have to get creative and give yourself a ton of grace, but I promise you, having a routine will keep you sane.

3) Practice self care, hard.  Your new routine most definitely must include time for self care.  And when I say time, I mean legit time. I give myself an hour and a half every day.  Getting your mind right each day is the only way you’re gonna make it through this quarantine without going straight-up nuts.  

I do my self-care routine in the morning, before anyone else in my house is awake.  I get peace and quiet and wide open mental space to soak up some power and love before I start my day.  That quiet time will look different for everyone, but whatever it looks like, give it to yourself. Meditate. Journal.  Pray. Exercise. Be unapologetic about wanting to take care of yourself.  

Living as your highest and best self means not trading away your beauty and strength just because you’re stuck in quarantine.  It’s ok to still want to feel powerful. Your kiddos are watching everything you do. Show them during this tumultuous and uncertain time that the greatest thing they can do is love themselves by demonstrating that you love yourself.

4) Get dressed.  Everyone (including you) will take you more seriously if you aren’t wearing pajamas all day.  Now, I’m not saying buttons and zippers are mandatory (although props to you if you’re still rocking stuff that’s “hand wash/line dry”), but wear something you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be caught in while FaceTiming your mother-in-law or your boss.  

Getting dressed is the lead domino that will knock down other power-inducing behavior, like brushing your teeth, washing your face and holding your head up just a bit higher.  Don’t believe me? Step out of those sweatpants and try it for yourself, girlfriend.

5) Upgrade your five.  Today, with fear and limitation spreading faster than the actual coronavirus, it is more important than ever to remember that you are the average of the five people you hang around the most.  Be very intentional about who you listen to right now. The energy you allow into your space will make or break you.  

Choose people who are contributing to the brightness and expansiveness of life. The podcasts you listen to and news shows you watch matter very much right now.  It matters who you allow to vent to you on the phone. Adjust who you’re following on Facebook. Limit the news alerts you receive.  And if you need to have a heart-to-heart with your spouse about supporting you in creating healthy energy in your home, do it.

Yes, COVID-19 is very serious. A lot of people are going to lose their livelihoods and their lives, I know. I also know this: attention is everything. God is good, and can work all things together for our good. Let’s surround ourselves with like-minded people and put our attention on the ideal outcome.

And anyway, nothing good will ever come from making up a horror story in your head. Might as well just skip that whole exercise and focus on what you can control: who you listen to and what you believe.

So create your new normal and ride it until this wave dies out.  Because it will die out. You got this. Stay strong, girlfriend. This too, shall pass.  

4 thoughts on “Creating a Sense of Normalcy When Everything Feels Bonkers

  1. Ilse D

    Thank you for inspiring us all to be the best version of ourselves…. you transmit peace and sanity to the insane outside .. cheers 🥂 drinking a glass on your behalf that way you have no mom guilt 😄

  2. Katie

    Thank you for this great message! You are so right about taking the time to care for ourselves and show our children that we are still strong. They really are watching our every move. Love the reminder about the 5 people too. Thank you, Nikki!

  3. Jen

    Thank you! I have been taking lots of self care time which is something I hardly were do! The making the bed part, well..not so much but maybe I will give that a try next! Thanks for such a great message validating we are all int he same boat!!

  4. Giovanna from Blissful & Beautiful

    This post is everything right now. I completely agree with each one of these 5 steps, they are all equally important, especially right now during these times when we all feel a little stuck. Something as small as getting dressed or making your bed can really make you feel SO much better – I know it does for me!

    Thank you for this much needed, inspirational post!

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