When You Flop on Your Face

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Crushing goals is a huge part of creating your ideal mom life. We all have unique gifts and talents, and when we get that spark inside of us to go for something, I believe God is giving us a little nudge and a wink. 

Making those dreams come true is not always so easy, though, especially when you have kids. That’s kind of the whole reason I created the Your Ideal Mom Life community: so we moms can have a safe place to talk about our big, scary goals, and how to be the moms we want to be without the guilt. Part of the goal-crushing process is putting your goal out into the universe. Socializing it. Telling other people what you’re up to. And of course, cheering other moms on when they do the same. 

But here’s the ugly thing no one talks about when they’re going for a huge goal: all the times they flop flat on their face. 

Like when . . . 

You prepare for the promotion, give the best interview of your life, and don’t get the job. 

You’re eating food that is healthy as heck and working out like some kind of crazy Cross-Fitter, but the scale isn’t budging. 

You take all the lessons and attend every single practice, but you keep losing your tennis matches. 

Or when your debut novel—the project you’ve been working on with your blood, sweat, and tears for over 15 years—repeatedly gets rejected by literary agents. 

What do you do when that happens, mama? Do you throw in the towel? Chalk your goal up to something meant for “other” people? Do you quit? 

HECK NO, YOU DON’T.

Here’s what I do. I raise a glass and toast to the so-called “failure.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not exactly HAPPY about it. Of course it stings. But of course it’s going to happen. Rejection/losing/falling on your face is a huge part of the process of growing, of getting better, of achieving the goal. You know who else fell on her face over and over again?

Oprah. Meryl Streep. J.K. Rowling.

Aren’t you glad they didn’t give up? I sure am.

So, as I go after this ginormous goal, I choose to talk about how many times I’ve already fallen on my face. I raise a glass and toast to getting my first rejections out of the way.

And I want you to do that for yourself.

Keep moving forward. Keep taking those little tiny steps toward your dreams. And on your way there, talk about all the times you flop on your face. Celebrate them. We got this, girlfriend. Onward!  


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Valentine’s Day and Single Mothers: A Tale of Embracing Self-Love

Guest Post Written by Praneeth Simon Siliveri

Want to write for us? Click here to check out our submission guidelines.

When you think of Valentine’s Day, you might think of couples showing love. But what about single moms without a romantic partner? Of course, they can celebrate too! If you’re a single mom wondering how to enjoy Valentine’s Day alone, remember that you deserve love too. If you can handle work and being a parent, why not take some time to love yourself?

From inspirational books to partying with friends, and these  Valentine’s Day offers to make your celebration even more fun, there are so many ways for a single mom to celebrate the day of love without feeling lonely.

  • Celebrate your Love for your Kids 

Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love—it’s about celebrating all forms of love, including the bond between a mother and her children. Spend quality time with your kids, express your love through fun activities and heartfelt conversations, or create special memories together, like planning a day out, cooking together, watching fun movies, or making creative crafts and arts. Embrace the joy and love of being a parent and tell your children how much they mean to you on this day. 

  • Party with your Friends and Family 

Gather your close friends and family members for a celebration of love and friendship. Host a Valentine’s Day party at home, or visit your favorite restaurant and indulge in a decadent meal. Enjoy good food, laughter, and meaningful conversations, creating cherished moments with those who support and care for you. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift and appreciate you is a wonderful way to feel loved and connected, regardless of your relationship status. 

  • Make some time for Yourself 

It is important to spend time with your kids, especially as a single parent, and it is equally essential to prioritize self-care and carve out time for yourself. So, use this Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to indulge in activities that bring you happiness and relaxation. Whether it’s treating yourself to a spa day, enjoying a favorite hobby, or simply unwinding with a good book or movie, investing in self-love and self-care fosters inner fulfillment and resilience. This way, you will be more efficient and happier in your life, which should be our ultimate goal, right? 

  • Devote Yourself doing good for Others 

In today’s busy and sometimes unfriendly world, it’s important to show love and kindness to people who could use extra care which (did you know?) also carries forward the legacy of Saint Valentine. One great way to do this is by volunteering your time or giving what you can to help others on Valentine’s Day. You could help a charity nearby, join in community projects to help, or just support other single parents. Doing these things helps others and makes you feel good inside. It’s all about spreading love and making the world a better, happier place for everyone. 

  • Plan a Solo Trip 

In addition to showing love to others, take a break from your routine and plan a solo trip this Valentine’s Day. Whether it’s a day trip nearby, a weekend getaway, or a dream vacation, solo travel can be liberating and empowering. By doing this, you can enjoy the freedom to set your own itinerary, discover yourself, and create memorable experiences. Exploring solo lets you reconnect, gain new perspectives, and celebrate your independence as a single mother. 

  • Speak to Yourself Kindly 

Finally, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. We all know that being a mom who works is hard, but it’s even harder when you’re doing it all on your own. If you need a little pick-me-up, remember these words:

  • “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou 
  • “My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” – Warsan Shire 
  • “I’ve been single for a while and I have to say, it’s going very well. Like… it’s working out. I think I’m the One!” — Emily Helle 
  • “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You have to believe in yourself.” – Lucille Ball 
  • “I don’t need Prince Charming to have my own happy ending.” -Katy Perry 

Valentine’s Day as a single mom isn’t about feeling alone. It’s a chance to show yourself some love and feel strong. We are confident that you can make this Valentine’s Day special by trying out the ideas we talked about. But don’t stop there! Get creative and find other ways to make yourself happy. Remember, what really counts is your own happiness. So, take this day to celebrate how strong and independent you are. You deserve all the love and joy in the world. 


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How To Relax as an At-Home Working Mother

Guest Post Written by Taylor McKnight, Author for CBDistillery

Want to write for us? Check out our submission guidelines here.

With all the demanding tasks that have to be completed each day, it can be challenging for an at-home working mother to find time to relax. But being healthy requires self-care and relaxation. Neglecting self-care can lead to poor physical, emotional, and mental health.

According to a study performed at the University of Manchester, working mothers can be up to 40% more stressed out than other people. That stress can eventually translate into many different adverse effects on one’s health.

Why Relaxation Is Important for At-Home Working Mothers

The joys of motherhood can be infinitely rewarding, but they can also be exhausting. The constant demands of motherhood can have negative consequences on your overall health. Prioritizing self-care and relaxation is essential for combating some of these negative health outcomes.


* Reduced stress: Chronic stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and many other negative outcomes on your overall well-being.
* Improved Physical Health: Reducing stress alone can have a positive impact on your overall physical health. Poor physical health can lead to several negative health implications such as fatigue and illness.
* Boosted self-esteem and confidence: Taking time for yourself makes you feel better, which can translate to feeling empowered and capable throughout the day.

Ways to Relax as an At-Home Working Mother

Finding ways to relax doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few simple ways at-home working mothers can relax throughout the day.

Wake up fifteen minutes earlier than everyone else in the house

It doesn’t seem like much, 15 minutes, but simply having a few minutes alone at the start of the day allows you to have your thoughts to yourself without distractions.

Set aside times to unplug

Screens have been shown to aggravate stress levels and sleep quality. Set specific times throughout the day when you commit to not staring at any screens.

Encourage relaxation with CBD

From balms to oils, to fruity-tasting gummies, many CBD products on the market today can help promote relaxation without impairing your ability to do the things you would normally be doing. Just call them ‘mommy’s little helpers.’

Talk to a friend

Having someone outside of your immediate family unit to bounce ideas off of, or even just vent to, can be incredibly valuable to your mental health.

Delegate household duties to the kids

Don’t feel like you have to do everything. Children are perfectly capable of performing simple tasks around the house, which takes some stress off your plate.

Try something new

Feeling stuck in a rut is depressing and just gets worse the longer it goes on. Spice up your life by trying something new. A meet-up, a class, anything to make you feel like you’re not simply going through the motions every single day.

Exercise!

Taking some time to work on your physical health is rewarding for many reasons and it doesn’t have to be the chore some make it out to be. Getting a little exercise can be something as simple as taking a short walk, with or without the kids.


There are plenty of options for finding some relaxation throughout the day and improving your physical and mental health. A combination of various methods is a good thing to consider. Everyone is different and you have to find what works for you.


Whether it’s getting up earlier to have some alone time every morning, taking a walk at lunch, taking a CBD gummy as the day winds down, or a combination of all these methods, it’s important to find relaxation any way you can. You’ll feel better, and the people around you will notice the difference in seeing a relaxed you.


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What Do You Need to Quit?

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What do you need to quit?

I know, I know. When do I ever talk about quitting?

The truth is that we all do things that don’t serve us. I’m dealing with this now, as I seek to publish my first novel in the genre of women’s fiction. I’m comparing myself to other authors of women’s fiction. It would be so easy for me to look at Jennifer Weiner, Taylor Jenkins Reid, Emily Henry, Ali Hazelwood, or Lucy Score and think, “I’ll never be that successful.”

But why? What’s the point in doing that? How does comparing my beginning to their “middles” help me?

News flash: it doesn’t.

So I’m gonna stop doing it. And no, it won’t happen overnight, but I’m going to keep at it.

If you’re comparing yourself—whether to other moms or to women in your professional field—stop, mama.

You matter and you have something to offer this world. And I’m gonna keep telling you that until you believe it.


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It’s Not Too Late to Be Awesome

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At the beginning of every year, I choose a word to represent what I want for my life over the twelve months that will follow.  Have you ever done that?  I picked it up a few years ago and found that it helps me focus.  I slap my word of the year at the top of my vision board, which I keep in my closet, and then see it every day as I’m getting dressed.  

Last year, my word was “skyrocket.”

Seemed like a great choice after everything we went through in most of 2020 and all the way into 2021.  Nowhere to go but up, right?

But for a lot of 2022, I didn’t feel like I was skyrocketing at all.

In fact, there came a point last year where I wasn’t sure what I was doing with Your Ideal Mom Life or with the Love Your Mom Life podcast.  I started believing the lie that I wasn’t making an impact, that no one was listening, that I didn’t know how to serve you.  

And then, right around THIS time last year, when I had almost totally checked out and felt like 2022 was on its way to being over, I got the spark of an idea to write a book.  For you.  To serve you.  And it came together in a snap.

On November 28th, when most might say the year really was basically over, my first book, “But Definitely Wear Mascara: Hacks to Help You Love Your Mom Life (and Yourself) a Little More,” was listed for sale on Amazon.  It might have taken THREE HUNDRED thirty one days, but I sure felt like I was skyrocketing then!

Did you have a word this year, mama? If so, I hope you’ve been living it!  

Or . . . maybe you haven’t. Maybe, like I did at this time last year, you feel like maybe you shouldn’t even bother; like the year is basically on its way to being over anyway. 

But here’s the thing: even if you feel like you haven’t lived out your goal so far, it’s not too late.  We still have one hundred fifty-two whole days left in this year.  152 days! 

So take one itty bitty step today.  And another teensy weensy one tomorrow.

You can still create something amazing.  You can still live in alignment with what your heart desired 212 days ago, on January 1st.  I know you can.

It’s not too late to start being awesome. You got this, girlfriend. And I am cheering you on. 


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How to Juggle Business, Self-Care, and Family—without Losing Your Mind

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Did you know mompreneurs employ more than 9 million people in the U.S. alone? That’s a pretty awesome little fact. But you and I both know that for many moms, trying to harmonize the demands of running a business with the responsibilities of being a parent can often (read: almost always does) lead to frustration, burnout, neglecting your own self-care, and feeling like a hot mess!

Yeah. Been there, girlfriend.

But as you also know, there are ways to get off the hot mess express, and I have tried and tested just about all of them. And now, happily, I’ve figured out this whole momprenuer thing. (Sort of.)

A few weeks ago, I was thrilled to be a guest on Sticky Brand Lab podcast, hosted by Nola Boea and Lori Vajda. We had an incredible conversation about how to juggle business, self-care, and family when you’re a mom who works.

Tune in to hear my actionable steps, insights, and practical solutions for reducing those feelings of overwhelm so you can find harmony between your personal and professional lives.

Seriously, mama, do not skip this one. The 30 minutes you spend listening will be well worth it. This episode is good.


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A Reminder on this Mother’s Day

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You are the best person for those little people you are raising. On Mother’s Day, we can sometimes feel mixed emotions, like inadequacy, mom guilt, sadness from loss, or other frustrations.

Just know that you are enough, mama.

You are doing your very best, and it’s amazing.

Plan for the potential feelings and decide now to experience them so you can let them go. We’ve never arrived as mothers. We’ll always be learning. Instead of beating yourself up, give yourself grace, and celebrate who you are becoming in and beyond motherhood.


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How Working Moms Beat Overwhelm

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On a daily basis, we tend to put our own needs last, reacting first to what’s “urgent” (though not necessarily important), and getting mired down in everything that needs to be done without regard to whether we need to be the one doing it. ⁣

Let’s not forget: 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗺𝗮𝗺𝗮, 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.

How, though, do you actually step into your greatness and use the precious moments God has given you to harness your gifts without getting distracted by those pesky, urgent tasks that keep you from tending to the truly important ones? ⁣

The answer, of course, is outsourcing. Outsourcing is your friend.

It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to use Instacart, to hire cleaners, to have someone cook for your family a few times a week, etc.

Find what on your list doesn’t need to be done by you, and outsource it. Remember that every time you choose to use your gifts instead of wasting time doing things others can do for you, you’re creating your ideal mom life.

For more outsourcing tips, revisit this blog post, or check out Chapter 13 of my new book, But Definitely Wear Mascara.


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Happy International Women’s Day!

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Historically, today has been a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women.

But as women who are also moms, you know what else I think we should celebrate?

Our mistakes. Our failures. All the times we’ve fallen flat on our faces.  And the fact that we are never, and will never, be totally perfect.

That might sound weird and like, very underachiever-ish.  But I think it’s actually super powerful.  

Because with every mom fail comes a lesson and an opportunity to grow.  Every mistake makes us better the next go around. 

And truth?  Those moments make you a better friend to the mom who comes after you, who makes the same mistakes you have, because you can be there for her and encourage her to get up and keep going.  
That’s what I’m celebrating today. And I’m thinking of you!


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Do You Know What You Want?

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In Chapters 2 and 3 of my book, I talk about getting crystal clear on your priorities (including the fact that you should be one of them), and dive into how to get off the hot mess express, using your biggest deepest desires as the guide for everything you do.  

But I suppose that begs the question:  what if I don’t actually know what my deepest desire is? 

My answer to that is always, “You do know; you just haven’t given yourself permission to embrace it.” But for those of you who insist that you really don’t know, I’m here for you, mama. Let’s talk. 

Let’s go back a few (ahem) years to when you were a little girl.  Do you remember what it was like to dream when you were little?  If you were anything like I was, you probably had a vision for your life.  A big vision.  Maybe you were going to be a princess.  Maybe you saw yourself as a ballerina or a singer.  Or, maybe, like I did, you believed you would become a world-famous actress. 

Whatever your aspirations were, I’m willing to bet big money that you weren’t dreaming about settling for an “okay” marriage or spending most of your time at an “okay” job where you’re totally underutilizing your gifts and drumming your nails on your desk every week, waiting for Friday to roll around. And I know you weren’t daydreaming about having an “okay” life in which everyone else’s dreams and desires come before yours.

Yet far, far too many of us moms are living exactly that way.  We tell ourselves that this is what being a grown up looks like.  We don’t pause to think about what we want anymore.

We give up on our little girl dreams. 

But getting in touch with what you want most in the world and identifying what you want out of your life is the only way you’ll get off the hot mess express because once you know what you want, it will be the driving force behind how you spend your time.  

Now available on Audible!

Now, rest assured that deciding what you want today doesn’t mean your desires are set in stone. 

What you want can change at any time, and that’s absolutely OK. 

The important thing is that you’re always in tune with what you want, and that what you want is the driving force behind how you spend your time. 

This is where dreaming big comes into play. And when I say big, I mean like, really big.  Huge.  But before we put pen to paper, let’s do some visualizing, shall we?  

Take a moment right now to dream, like you did when you were a little girl.  What is your biggest personal or professional dream for this year?  And just so we’re clear, your job here is to dream big.  I’m in the “set-crazy-unrealistic-ginormous” goals camp.  Trust me, despite what conventional goal-setting wisdom might tell you, setting HUGE goals is the way to go.   So let your heart run wild here.  Hold that image of you accomplishing your dream in your mind.  See it clearly.  Imagine how you would feel if that dream came true at the end of twelve months, and then hold on to the feeling.  

Now we’re going to change the facts.  Imagine now that you had zero obstacles.  None.  You live in a world in which you literally cannot fail.  What would your biggest dream be then?  What would you go after?  What in your wildest dreams would you love to accomplish over the next  year?  Lose 25 pounds?  Reverse a chronic health condition?  Hit tennis balls like a pro?  Publish a book?  Open a cake store?  

Your only limit here is your own willingness to be big.  Allow it.  Big is awesome. 

So, I’ve gotta ask you: Was your first dream as big as the second?  If not, notice where you’re limiting yourself, even in your dreams.  That’s not meant to be a judgment.  (This is a judgment-free zone!  For reals!)  We all limit ourselves.  When we notice, we can adjust.  

So guess what?  Whatever your second dream was is the one we’re going with.  And don’t waste a single second worrying about falling short.  I promise, you will be far more fulfilled at the end of a year having fallen short of a huge goal than you would be if you achieved a “realistic” goal. 

Last year, I fell literally 67 times short of a revenue goal.  But you know what?  I tripled the revenue from the year before.  Had I set a “realistic” goal, I probably wouldn’t have even made it that far.  In my experience, “realistic” when it comes to goal setting is just code for “minuscule.”  Goals like that aren’t going to stretch you. We’re going BIG, girlfriend, and we’re not concerned about falling short.  

Play this episode again and again until you figure out what it is you truly want.  And once you do, you’ll know exactly what to do when you get to Chapters 2 and 3 of But Definitely Wear Mascara and have a smug little smile on your face as you’re reading. 

Here’s to getting exactly what you want, mama.  I can’t wait to see what you create.


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