What Do You Need to Quit?

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What do you need to quit?

I know, I know. When do I ever talk about quitting?

The truth is that we all do things that don’t serve us. I’m dealing with this now, as I seek to publish my first novel in the genre of women’s fiction. I’m comparing myself to other authors of women’s fiction. It would be so easy for me to look at Jennifer Weiner, Taylor Jenkins Reid, Emily Henry, Ali Hazelwood, or Lucy Score and think, “I’ll never be that successful.”

But why? What’s the point in doing that? How does comparing my beginning to their “middles” help me?

News flash: it doesn’t.

So I’m gonna stop doing it. And no, it won’t happen overnight, but I’m going to keep at it.

If you’re comparing yourself—whether to other moms or to women in your professional field—stop, mama.

You matter and you have something to offer this world. And I’m gonna keep telling you that until you believe it.


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It’s Not Too Late to Be Awesome

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At the beginning of every year, I choose a word to represent what I want for my life over the twelve months that will follow.  Have you ever done that?  I picked it up a few years ago and found that it helps me focus.  I slap my word of the year at the top of my vision board, which I keep in my closet, and then see it every day as I’m getting dressed.  

Last year, my word was “skyrocket.”

Seemed like a great choice after everything we went through in most of 2020 and all the way into 2021.  Nowhere to go but up, right?

But for a lot of 2022, I didn’t feel like I was skyrocketing at all.

In fact, there came a point last year where I wasn’t sure what I was doing with Your Ideal Mom Life or with the Love Your Mom Life podcast.  I started believing the lie that I wasn’t making an impact, that no one was listening, that I didn’t know how to serve you.  

And then, right around THIS time last year, when I had almost totally checked out and felt like 2022 was on its way to being over, I got the spark of an idea to write a book.  For you.  To serve you.  And it came together in a snap.

On November 28th, when most might say the year really was basically over, my first book, “But Definitely Wear Mascara: Hacks to Help You Love Your Mom Life (and Yourself) a Little More,” was listed for sale on Amazon.  It might have taken THREE HUNDRED thirty one days, but I sure felt like I was skyrocketing then!

Did you have a word this year, mama? If so, I hope you’ve been living it!  

Or . . . maybe you haven’t. Maybe, like I did at this time last year, you feel like maybe you shouldn’t even bother; like the year is basically on its way to being over anyway. 

But here’s the thing: even if you feel like you haven’t lived out your goal so far, it’s not too late.  We still have one hundred fifty-two whole days left in this year.  152 days! 

So take one itty bitty step today.  And another teensy weensy one tomorrow.

You can still create something amazing.  You can still live in alignment with what your heart desired 212 days ago, on January 1st.  I know you can.

It’s not too late to start being awesome. You got this, girlfriend. And I am cheering you on. 


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How to Juggle Business, Self-Care, and Family—without Losing Your Mind

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Did you know mompreneurs employ more than 9 million people in the U.S. alone? That’s a pretty awesome little fact. But you and I both know that for many moms, trying to harmonize the demands of running a business with the responsibilities of being a parent can often (read: almost always does) lead to frustration, burnout, neglecting your own self-care, and feeling like a hot mess!

Yeah. Been there, girlfriend.

But as you also know, there are ways to get off the hot mess express, and I have tried and tested just about all of them. And now, happily, I’ve figured out this whole momprenuer thing. (Sort of.)

A few weeks ago, I was thrilled to be a guest on Sticky Brand Lab podcast, hosted by Nola Boea and Lori Vajda. We had an incredible conversation about how to juggle business, self-care, and family when you’re a mom who works.

Tune in to hear my actionable steps, insights, and practical solutions for reducing those feelings of overwhelm so you can find harmony between your personal and professional lives.

Seriously, mama, do not skip this one. The 30 minutes you spend listening will be well worth it. This episode is good.


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A Reminder on this Mother’s Day

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You are the best person for those little people you are raising. On Mother’s Day, we can sometimes feel mixed emotions, like inadequacy, mom guilt, sadness from loss, or other frustrations.

Just know that you are enough, mama.

You are doing your very best, and it’s amazing.

Plan for the potential feelings and decide now to experience them so you can let them go. We’ve never arrived as mothers. We’ll always be learning. Instead of beating yourself up, give yourself grace, and celebrate who you are becoming in and beyond motherhood.


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How Working Moms Beat Overwhelm

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On a daily basis, we tend to put our own needs last, reacting first to what’s “urgent” (though not necessarily important), and getting mired down in everything that needs to be done without regard to whether we need to be the one doing it. ⁣

Let’s not forget: 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗺𝗮𝗺𝗮, 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.

How, though, do you actually step into your greatness and use the precious moments God has given you to harness your gifts without getting distracted by those pesky, urgent tasks that keep you from tending to the truly important ones? ⁣

The answer, of course, is outsourcing. Outsourcing is your friend.

It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to use Instacart, to hire cleaners, to have someone cook for your family a few times a week, etc.

Find what on your list doesn’t need to be done by you, and outsource it. Remember that every time you choose to use your gifts instead of wasting time doing things others can do for you, you’re creating your ideal mom life.

For more outsourcing tips, revisit this blog post, or check out Chapter 13 of my new book, But Definitely Wear Mascara.


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Happy International Women’s Day!

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Historically, today has been a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women.

But as women who are also moms, you know what else I think we should celebrate?

Our mistakes. Our failures. All the times we’ve fallen flat on our faces.  And the fact that we are never, and will never, be totally perfect.

That might sound weird and like, very underachiever-ish.  But I think it’s actually super powerful.  

Because with every mom fail comes a lesson and an opportunity to grow.  Every mistake makes us better the next go around. 

And truth?  Those moments make you a better friend to the mom who comes after you, who makes the same mistakes you have, because you can be there for her and encourage her to get up and keep going.  
That’s what I’m celebrating today. And I’m thinking of you!


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Do You Know What You Want?

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In Chapters 2 and 3 of my book, I talk about getting crystal clear on your priorities (including the fact that you should be one of them), and dive into how to get off the hot mess express, using your biggest deepest desires as the guide for everything you do.  

But I suppose that begs the question:  what if I don’t actually know what my deepest desire is? 

My answer to that is always, “You do know; you just haven’t given yourself permission to embrace it.” But for those of you who insist that you really don’t know, I’m here for you, mama. Let’s talk. 

Let’s go back a few (ahem) years to when you were a little girl.  Do you remember what it was like to dream when you were little?  If you were anything like I was, you probably had a vision for your life.  A big vision.  Maybe you were going to be a princess.  Maybe you saw yourself as a ballerina or a singer.  Or, maybe, like I did, you believed you would become a world-famous actress. 

Whatever your aspirations were, I’m willing to bet big money that you weren’t dreaming about settling for an “okay” marriage or spending most of your time at an “okay” job where you’re totally underutilizing your gifts and drumming your nails on your desk every week, waiting for Friday to roll around. And I know you weren’t daydreaming about having an “okay” life in which everyone else’s dreams and desires come before yours.

Yet far, far too many of us moms are living exactly that way.  We tell ourselves that this is what being a grown up looks like.  We don’t pause to think about what we want anymore.

We give up on our little girl dreams. 

But getting in touch with what you want most in the world and identifying what you want out of your life is the only way you’ll get off the hot mess express because once you know what you want, it will be the driving force behind how you spend your time.  

Now available on Audible!

Now, rest assured that deciding what you want today doesn’t mean your desires are set in stone. 

What you want can change at any time, and that’s absolutely OK. 

The important thing is that you’re always in tune with what you want, and that what you want is the driving force behind how you spend your time. 

This is where dreaming big comes into play. And when I say big, I mean like, really big.  Huge.  But before we put pen to paper, let’s do some visualizing, shall we?  

Take a moment right now to dream, like you did when you were a little girl.  What is your biggest personal or professional dream for this year?  And just so we’re clear, your job here is to dream big.  I’m in the “set-crazy-unrealistic-ginormous” goals camp.  Trust me, despite what conventional goal-setting wisdom might tell you, setting HUGE goals is the way to go.   So let your heart run wild here.  Hold that image of you accomplishing your dream in your mind.  See it clearly.  Imagine how you would feel if that dream came true at the end of twelve months, and then hold on to the feeling.  

Now we’re going to change the facts.  Imagine now that you had zero obstacles.  None.  You live in a world in which you literally cannot fail.  What would your biggest dream be then?  What would you go after?  What in your wildest dreams would you love to accomplish over the next  year?  Lose 25 pounds?  Reverse a chronic health condition?  Hit tennis balls like a pro?  Publish a book?  Open a cake store?  

Your only limit here is your own willingness to be big.  Allow it.  Big is awesome. 

So, I’ve gotta ask you: Was your first dream as big as the second?  If not, notice where you’re limiting yourself, even in your dreams.  That’s not meant to be a judgment.  (This is a judgment-free zone!  For reals!)  We all limit ourselves.  When we notice, we can adjust.  

So guess what?  Whatever your second dream was is the one we’re going with.  And don’t waste a single second worrying about falling short.  I promise, you will be far more fulfilled at the end of a year having fallen short of a huge goal than you would be if you achieved a “realistic” goal. 

Last year, I fell literally 67 times short of a revenue goal.  But you know what?  I tripled the revenue from the year before.  Had I set a “realistic” goal, I probably wouldn’t have even made it that far.  In my experience, “realistic” when it comes to goal setting is just code for “minuscule.”  Goals like that aren’t going to stretch you. We’re going BIG, girlfriend, and we’re not concerned about falling short.  

Play this episode again and again until you figure out what it is you truly want.  And once you do, you’ll know exactly what to do when you get to Chapters 2 and 3 of But Definitely Wear Mascara and have a smug little smile on your face as you’re reading. 

Here’s to getting exactly what you want, mama.  I can’t wait to see what you create.


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You Angry, Mama?

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As moms, we talk about mom life all the time.  We share photos of our kids on social media, and joke about battling mom brain, being “on” from sunup to sundown, and the seemingly insurmountable task that is bedtime.  

Here’s something we moms never seem to talk about, though:  how pissed off we are.

If we’re being totally honest, we’re exhausted from constantly striving to “balance” the demands of our jobs with the needs of our families, and feeling like we have to say no to the things we want to do.  We’re broken records when it comes to tidiness, chores, getting homework done, and refereeing the incessant bickering between our kids. 

We probably don’t even want to admit to ourselves how irritating (and, quite frankly, infuriating) the challenges of motherhood are.  

But mom rage is real.

And if you’re feeling it, you’re not alone, mama. It’s normal to feel anger, even about motherhood.  I say we get real in 2023 and talk about it! 

That’s why I recently wrote an essay for CafeMom about mom rage and my recent experience at a rage room, which helped me get out my anger and regain patience and joy in the weeks that followed.

Check it out to learn how you can get out your anger, even if you don’t have a rage room nearby. Mom rage is real, but once you honor it by listening to what it’s telling you, it doesn’t get to claim a hold on you anymore. Be intentional about getting those feelings out so you can finally release them.


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My Top 5 Mom Life Hacks

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Last week, I made my morning news debut on Good Day DC to share my top 5 mom life hacks (and of course, to talk about my new book, But Definitely Wear Mascara 😍). 

My #1 tip? Every day, wake up just a little bit earlier than you are now to get guaranteed alone time.  It doesn’t have to be painful, promise!  You can start with as little as 10 minutes each day to get time that’s just for you, to sip peacefully on your first cup of coffee, journal, read fiction, or do something else you love. 

Think 10 minutes a day isn’t enough to feel like you’re taking care of yourself? Ten minutes is better than zero, mama. If you’re not currently getting guaranteed alone time every day, try this hack! 

Wanna hear the other 4 hacks? Watch the full interview here (it’s less than 5 minutes)!


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What I’m Leaving Behind

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It’s hard to believe that tomorrow is the very last day of 2022.  This time of year can bring up a  lot of feels.  Excitement.  Hope.  Regret.  Determination.  Feeling any of that today?  

This week is actually my favorite week every year.  I love intentionally reflecting on the year that’s about to end and looking ahead at what can be.  Wanna join me?  

First, let’s celebrate what we accomplished in 2022.  

My list looks like this: 

  • I massively grew the Love Your Mom Life podcast   (16,000 downloads and counting)! 
  • I published my first book
  • I made new friends, went on family adventures with my hubby and kids, improved my tennis game, and made a thousand new memories.  

Your turn! Celebrate yourself! What did you accomplish this year?  (And you’re not allowed to say, “Nothing.”) Write it down. Feel free to add some smiley faces. I won’t judge.

Next, let’s decide what we’re leaving behind as we head into 2023.  

Personally, I’m done with:

. . . having a scarcity mindset about my earning potential.  I know what I’m worth, and I’m claiming it.  

. . . doing things I hate.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.  Life is short.  In 2023, if it’s not my best yes, I’m saying no.  

. . . not trusting myself.  I am a bold, talented, unapologetic badass. Imma let that girl out next year.  

What about you, mama?  What are you letting go of tomorrow, and what are you taking with you into next year?  


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